Ben Fletcher

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On September 28, A Biologically Male Magical White Kid: and the Book You Thought You'd Already Read was released and made available from all good (and many bad) bookshops. The result of just over a year of writing, this parody is no tribute to the Harry Potter series, but a book that isn’t afraid to call J.K. Rowling transphobic.

At 30% longer than the original Philosopher’s Stone (Sorcerer’s Stone), the book remains close to the original story while including hundreds of changes — some subtle and some much more noticeable — to lampoon and parody the series as a whole, popular culture, current events, and Rowling’s never-ending attempts to retroactively add to her world in an attempt to make it appear diverse all along.

While the print versions of the book will remain on-sale indefinitely (with American editions on the way) for anyone who prefers to hold a physical book in their hands, in order to let as many people as possible enjoy this satirical story, I have taken the decision to publish the whole book over the course of the next three weeks, starting with Chapter One (Of Course, The Boy is White) today.

New chapters will be published each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until Christmas Eve, making the whole book available to read for free on Medium, Reddit, and my own website — for anyone who can’t wait, the entire book is still available to buy as a digital e-book alongside hardcover and paperback editions.

While there is no cost to read the book as it’s made available online, if you’re in a position to do so, please consider sending a tip through Ko-fi — writing comedy like this is my job (and this is no short parody, it really is over 100k words) and like 99% of creatives right now, even the smallest contributions can make a difference to help us survive and continue doing what we do.

To begin reading, you can find Chapter One here on Reddit, here on Medium, or here on my own website.

When Will Chapters Be Published?

Chapters will be published simultaneously across platforms on midnight (GMT) on the following dates:

Friday, December 3 — Chapter One (Of Course, The Boy is White)

Monday, December 6 — Chapter Two (“That Penguin Had a Business Card?”)

Wednesday, December 8 — Chapter Three (A Kangaroo, a Penguin, a Donkey, and an Alligator) AND Chapter Four (“Couldn’t This Have Been an Email?”)

Friday, December 10 — Chapter Five (The Sino Pauper Edo Recondo Mammonas Bank)

Monday, December 13 — Chapter Six (The Journey on the Rail Replacement Bus Service)

Wednesday, December 15 — Chapter Seven (“Did She Say Live and Die?”) AND Chapter Eight (Anhydrous What to What?)

Friday, December 17 — Chapter Nine (“Well, There Goes My Tenure”), Chapter Ten (The Ancient Egyptian Goddess Heqet), AND Chapter Eleven (A Tale of Highs, Lows, And Then Highs Again)

Monday, December 20 — Chapter Twelve (The Wardrobe to Iqaluit) AND Chapter Thirteen (The Full Moon Rule)

Wednesday, December 22 — Chapter Fourteen (An Exciting Opportunity To Transform Your Life) AND Chapter Fifteen (Consequences and Contradictions)

Friday, December 24 — Chapter Sixteen (Police Aux Frontières) AND Chapter Seventeen (This Is Cheese as Cheese Should Be)

Should anyone be interested, I may also post a few extra things covering some of the more subtle jokes you may have missed, or the process for writing a parody on this scale.

Will There Be a Sequel?

I haven't ruled it out and I have a few pages of notes for parodying the second book, but it really comes down to whether I can find time, if people like the first, and the opinions of a few copyright lawyers on the issue of fair use limitations.

Can I Share It?

Yes and no.

Feel free to tell people about the book and share links to the official pages it's published on — that would honestly be appreciated — but the book shouldn't be republished or redistributed on any other website or blog (even if they aren't for profit), nor should it be printed out and given to anyone. Copyright still applies, and all rights are reserved.

And now for the imprint and legal information…

A Biologically Male Magical White Kid: and the Book You Thought You'd Already Read was first published in 2021 by Enchanted Celery. Enchanted Celery is an imprint of Enchanted Celery Limited.

Enchanted Celery Limited, 85 Great Portland Street (1st Floor), Marylebone, London, W1W 7LT

Text Copyright © Ben Fletcher 2021 | Cover and jacket design © Enchanted Celery 2021

The moral right of the author to be identified as the creator of this work has been asserted under the Copyright, Design and Patents Act 1988

All rights reserved

This book is sold and/or distributed and/or published subject to the condition that it shall not by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired, copied, or otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover, in part or entirety, without the prior written consent of Enchanted Celery Limited

A CIP Catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

E-Book ISBN: 978-1-7399320-3-9

Hardcover ISBN: 978-1-7399320-1-5

Paperback ISBN: 978-1-7399320-2-2

This book is a work of satirical parody and pastiche fiction, and makes use of copyrighted works and trademarks for the purposes of satire, criticism, review, and commenting on current events. Such uses are permitted under Section 30A(1) of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 (as amended) in the United Kingdom, Section 107 of the Copyright Act in the United States, and Article 5(3) of European Union Directive 2001/29/EC, as incorporated into the law of member states.

Commentary, criticism, and review contained within this book, while based on true facts, events and quotations, may be dramatised for the purpose of continuity and narrative, and may therefore not portray a fully accurate representation of timing or context.

The content of this book is the sole responsibility of the author and the publisher, and has not been reviewed or endorsed by any third party distributor, printer, binder, or retailer.

The mention of any business, brand, or individual in this book is purely for entertainment purposes or for the purpose of satire, commentary, and criticism. No such mention should be taken to imply any relationship or partnership with, or an endorsement from, that business, brand, or individual.

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Chapter Seventeen This Is Cheese as Cheese Should Be No one was. Instead, a decorative stone pedestal stood alone in the middle of the chamber, and on top of it, a small wooden box which quite unmista

Chapter Sixteen Police Aux Frontières Billy would never be quite sure how he managed to get through all his exams when he was half expecting to be murdered if not by Steven coming through the door at

© Ben Fletcher 2021 | All Rights Reserved