Trumped
Preview
ACT I SCENE 14 | CLINTON & OBAMA
A WHITE HOUSE OFFICE where CLINTON and OBAMA sit talking.
NARRATOR
(entering)
With the three debates over it’s three-zero to team blue and a reputation of terror sticking to Trump like a particularly strong glue.
For Clinton, what can go wrong? Nobody knows. Her Presidency is a certainty with a percentage that only grows.
The campaigns have been long, but there’s still some days for both to go. But first, for Hillary, there’s time for a meeting not for sorrow or show, but with a man who is now her mentor and friend, and no longer a foe.
The NARRATOR exits.
CLINTON
And then, you’ll never believe this, Barack, he said that no one respects women more than him.
OBAMA
In fact, Hillary, as it so happens, I did actually see him making the comment that you are referring to there... I was watching that rally of his on my electrical television set over in the White House Residence... It’s just out of this door, through another, outside, left and then straight on past the bush that looks suspiciously like a Russian spy wearing camouflage... But despite having witnessed Donald Trump making the claim you have just reported in your own words... I do still find it hard to believe, which as you know is an unusual thing for me... because always in my administration I have strived to see... the best in people.
CLINTON
Yes, yes, but do you know what else he said?
OBAMA
Yes, Hillary, I do know... but in order to avoid a social conflict or any form of tension... how about you remind me in words that are rendered from your own free thought?
CLINTON
He said that he would be the most qualified President ever.
OBAMA
Now that really is quite funny... it’s like a joke. A funny joke.
As they laugh, a PHOTOGRAPHER enters, takes a photo of them, then exits.
CLINTON
What was that? They had a camera. Why is there someone with a camera?
OBAMA
That was a photographer that I arranged... I thought it would be a good idea if we could put out a photo of you laughing and... looking human.
CLINTON
Why? Don’t I normally look human? I’m a human. I look human. People think I’m human.
(beat)
Hey, Barack, would you mind putting out a formal statement confirming that I’m human?
OBAMA
Putting out a statement of words from our English language that achieve such a purpose is certainly something that I would be willing to look at doing for you.
CLINTON
Thanks, Barack. Where would I be without you?
OBAMA
You’d have been president eight years ago.
COOPER enters on a moving desk.
COOPER
Hello, you’re watching C-N-N and I’m Anderson Cooper here with breaking news.
OBAMA
(waving)
Well good post afternoon to you, Anderson.
COOPER
(waving back)
President Obama, sir.
(to audience)
This just in. F-B-I director, James Comey, has today written to Congress to inform them that he is re-opening the investigation into the use of private emails by Hillary Clinton.
Beat.
CLINTON
I’m sorry. I’m not sure I heard that.
COOPER
In a letter that was addressed to the Chair of the House Intelligence Committee, Mister Comey confirmed the F-B-I has uncovered new emails that were not included as part of the first investigation which later concluded after finding no wrongdoing from the former Secretary of State. While it is not known what evidence, if any, these new emails contain, it will surely have a negative impact on the Clinton campaign just a few days out from the election.
(beat)
Duck.
He ducks and narrowly misses an object thrown by CLINTON.
COOPER
That’s all from me for now.
COOPER and his desk exit.
OBAMA
Hillary, are you okay? That news there... it didn’t sound as though it would please a person such as yourself at the present time.
A pause.
CLINTON
I... I just need a moment. I need a moment, Barack.
CLINTON exits, screams, and then returns to the stage.
OBAMA
Hillary?
CLINTON
This is --
OBAMA
Hillary?
CLINTON
Going to be okay.
OBAMA
Are you sure that there is truth in the words you are using?
CLINTON
This is going to be okay. I can still win. America isn’t stupid. I can win this. I can do this.
OBAMA
What if you don’t?
CLINTON
If I don’t?
(beat)
Then I will personally see to it that James Comey is nailed to the Washington Monument.
TRUMPED: An Alternative Musical, first published in 2018 by Blue Lens. Blue Lens is an imprint of Blue Lens Films Limited, 71-75 Shelton Street, Covent Garden, West End, London, WC2H 9JQ, UK. Text copyright © Ben Fletcher 2018. Cover Design © Blue Lens Films 2018. The works contained within this book are of a satirical nature. Any resemblance to actual events does not represent a true and accurate account of the facts. The views expressed within this are satirical and may not represent the views of the author or the publisher.
The script of TRUMPED: An Alternative Musical has been published in this format for entertainment purposes only. No portion of this script may be performed or otherwise made use of in any circumstances without the prior written permission or grant of performance license from the writer.
